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  • Japan Times: Arudou Debito gives up on activism due to poverty

    Posted by Dr. ARUDOU, Debito on April 1st, 2010

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    DEBITO SELLS OUT:  CITES DIRE POVERTY FROM ACTIVISM

    The Japan Times, April 1, 2010

    (Sapporo)  April 1:  Activist Debito Arudou announced in a press conference today that he will be hanging up his gloves and quitting activism.

    “It sucks to support the tired, the poor, and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free,” Debito was quoted as saying.  “I’m tired of being a poor, huddling mass breathing for free.”

    Debito claimed dire poverty.  “Money (that’s what I want),” he said, citing the Beatles.

    “From now on, I’m going to be a Japanese government shill, representing our incorruptible, self-sacrificing, and endearing bureaucrats as a bridge to explain our country’s noble and altruistic motives to the rest of the world.  We are unique, after all. That line pays better.”

    Clutching two burlap bags with dollar signs on them, he said, “Pay me in yen next time.”

    When asked if this was not a departure from the standard Debito Doctrine, Debito said, “I’m a Japanese citizen now, so call me by my last name with a -san attached!  Or I’ll sue you.”

    Debito refrained from further comment, except to say, “Kora!  I thought I just told you to call me ‘Arudou-san’!”

    ENDS

    =====================

    24 Responses to “Japan Times: Arudou Debito gives up on activism due to poverty”

    1. David L. Says:

      LoL. It took me awhile before I remembered it was Arpil Fools Day.

    2. paulo Says:

      april folk’s!

    3. matty Says:

      Ah, good use of living in a earlier timezone!

    4. filosofem Says:

      Happy April Fool’s Day!

    5. Jon Says:

      Ha ha.
      Happy April Fools day.
      now… SHOW ME THE MONEY!

    6. jim Says:

      very funny i loved it. happy easter and april fools day

    7. Allen Says:

      Hey! Its in DOLLAR signs! Thats racial stereotyping! Quick! Let’s ALL go and protest this! We’ll slap everyone with april fish to tell everyone of our disapproval! (>▽<)ノシ Very nice! I am still laughing!

    8. 愛子 Says:

      有道さん、お疲れ様でした。

      それと、四月馬鹿おめでとう!
      笑えましたが、この記事が根拠としてウィキペーディアやブログ等で引用及び悪用される気がします…
      明日になったら上に説明を付け加えればいいかもしれませんね。

      – ありがとう。しかし、ウィキペーディアはどう仕様もないし、無視するしかあるまい。悪用者は日本のインタネットー研究の機能を台無しにしている。

    9. Ken Aston Says:

      Good one!

    10. mashu Says:

      Do you have paypal?

      – Heh. Sure do. Why? Donation?

    11. Tony Says:

      terrific!

    12. Kevin Says:

      I had to do a dubble take at the head line and then was like oh its April’s fools!

      Nice one ;p

    13. Tony D Says:

      haha I love it!

    14. liza Says:

      omg have to admit I was fooled a bit by the tweet to this! whew!

    15. E G Says:

      For a moment you got me!!!!

    16. snowman Says:

      very funny! You really are a dude! I believed it for about 10 seconds as I remembered you saying how your university salary has been sliding south for some time. All the best with the cash!

    17. nobody Says:

      You had me fooled until I saw the date. Heh.

    18. Luke Says:

      Haha, good one man.

    19. Steve von Maas Says:

      You never fooled me with that, not even for a second! You have a disease, my friend, [a very good disease, of great benefit to humanity] and you will never just “snap out of it,” even if you often wish you could. (It’s just like when I sometimes wish I could be gay.)

    20. Mutantfrog Travelogue » Blog Archive » BREAKING NEWS: Debito to quit activism Says:

      […] DEBITO SELLS OUT: CITES DIRE POVERTY FROM ACTIVISM The Japan Times, April 1, 2010 […]

    21. Antonio Rebordao Says:

      It also took me a while to realize it :-)

      Cheers and keep on the good work.

    22. mark in kanto Says:

      Bad timing to quit, Debito! I just read in the same newspaper that the Japanese government is finally going to pass laws making racial discrimination illegal and allowing dual nationality. They also have announced that, based on scientific research, that whale meat is full of heavy metals and thus the bureaucrats and right-wing zealots that have promoted whaling and have thus poisoned the public will be put on trial for crimes against humanity….

      Oh, and the earth was pronounced round by the LDP…

    23. Kimpatsu Says:

      I didn’t know the Japanese practiced April’s Fool.

    24. James N Says:

      I just about up and fell out of my chair!!! You really had me going on that one…. I actually was worried about your sanity for a moment or two…. LOL!!! I had totally forgotten about April Fools Day. Damn myself for falling for your trickery!!!!!

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